My persimmon writing

Persimmons

On count on three 1,2,3 chomp. ‘Mmmmmm’ I couldn't understand why people do not like the persimmons.

Patience dropped her fruit on the mat.

Mania didn't even take a nibble. I looked at Mia T’s face she looked like she did not want to finish her fruit.

It looked like she just ate a piece of dirt.

The yummy fruit looked like a juicy watermelon but orange.

When i looked at maddy her face looked confused she was still eating it though.

Slurp mmmmmm when i took another bite it felt like the flesh of watermelon was in my mouth.

I looked at other peoples yummy fruits and they had big black hole was there.

It taste like a party was in my mouth just happiness.

Most of the noise I heard was slurp, CHOP, ewwww,mmmmmm.

I really wanted another one but i could not grab another one.

My mood changed i was happy to sad and angry.

I continued eating.

I was confused why I could not eat another.

In my brain I was like why can’t i grab another?

All around me was disgusted faces,confused faces,excited faces, and angry faces.

I know from this day on , I will want to eat the fruit. Because it was delicious!  

i really liked how i added emotions
next time i could add more detail
we learnt about the yummy persimmons